Describing a Picture

How can we describe this picture?

Begin your description with the kind of animal it is. You can then go on to physical characteristics and actions.


I see a green and black fly. It has big red eyes and is sitting on a white table.

Analyzing an Introduction

Look at the following introduction:

Many people living longer, because now people have a good alimentation than before, I think one of the reason is about that works, frecuently people spend less time in hard works and people make more exercises now and these exarcises are good for health people, other reason is about people are living more comfotable now, in the past people lived really bad for cause a many factores,


Clarity

The response has all of the basic components but is not as clear as it could be. Break it up bit by bit.

'Many people living longer, because now people have a good alimentation than before.'

What is the author trying to say?

1.) People live longer
2.) 'alimentation' shows a weakness in vocabulary and should be replaced with a separate idea
- Ailment seems to be what the author was wanting to use
- We will replace it with 'health'

Many people are living longer because of improvements in their health.


What about the rest of the response?

I think one of the reason is about that works, frecuently people spend less time in hard works and people make more exercises now and these exarcises are good for health people, other reason is about people are living more comfotable now, in the past people lived really bad for cause a many factores,

Break it up into complete sentences based on the ideas the author wants to use and you might rewrite it as follows.

I think one of the reasons for this is that people frequently spend less time working so hard and exercise more often. Exercise and less stress is good for people's health. Another reason is that people have more comfortable lives than in the past.


The author should keep in mind we do not want to go into too much detail about the reasons. Detail should be saved for the body paragraphs. The longest part of the introduction will probably end up being your hook, something that can be expanded upon in this response.


Any ideas for a hook?


Good luck with your studies,
ESL Study Guide

Analyzing Tone

The following is a sample business letter:

[date]
Mr. John R. Michaels
Skyline Technologies
P.O. Box 423
Richmond, British Columbia
V6X1A7



Dear Mr. Michaels:

Congratulations! Your account at Blair's Computer Wholesale has been approved. We are
proud to have you as a customer. John, as you probably know, Blair's Computer Wholesale is a 12-year-old company, with 71 stores in nine provinces. We supply a complete line of computer products to our customers, including servers, desktops, notebooks, software, accessories, and individual hardware componentd. As a leader in this industry, we strive to provide the best possible customer service.

Our goal is to be the supplier you consider first whenever you have computer needs. Customer satisfaction is our number-one priority.

Your approved credit line is $7,200, with a monthly billing cycle. Monthly statements are mailed on the first working day of every month. Service charges will be added on past-due balances that are not paid by the twenty-fifth of the month.

We at Blair's Computer Wholesale are looking forward to serving you and developing a long and prosperous relationship. The local manager is Tina Wang. Her telephone number is 778-555-7281.


Yours truly,
Jack Blair
Credit Department



Analysis:

Tone


The tone of a letter can get a positive or negative reaction from a reader. You should set the tone of a letter at the beginning and maintain it throughout. The tone of any business letter should be courteous and friendly, and written as if you were talking directly with the reader. You don’t want to get too technical. Write in language that the reader can understand

The tone should also help to show that someone with a personality, rather than a computer, is writing the letter. If the reader believes that you are actually concerned about how they are affected, a positive response is much more likely.

Consider the sample Letter above. The letter sets a tone emphasizing efficiency and a personal touch right from the beginning by addressing both the writer’s past involvement with the customer and what the customer needs. The writer comes directly to the point and discusses the credit proposal for his customer’s company.

In the first paragraph, the writer establishes the tone of the letter:

We are proud to have you as a customer. In the second paragraph, he addresses the customer by their first name, maintaining a personal, courteous tone. Not only does Jack express positive feelings about his customer, he also suggests that the tone of the entire letter will remain one of positive feelings.

The sample letter is written with a positive tone directed toward its reader, which is maintained from start to finish. By convincing the reader that he is receiving a fair proposal from someone in a position to help them, then the letter will likely be successful.